They F*cked me UP [getting help is a long process]

Back with another casual life update.  About four years ago I did a stint in the local mental hospital and that’s where I was diagnosed with autism and bipolar. During that time the doctor prescribed me the lowest possible dose of ceroquil and it f*cked me up.

After that we determined that I was sensitive to medication and I was put on a low dose of Abilify.

Now, the right thing to do would have been to continue taking the Abilify for the last four years and probably have a normal existence.

But when has life ever been normal?

Of course I stopped taking the medication and had a a TON of wild adventures, which looking back I mostly don’t regret.

Only my last depression got so bad I wanted to get back on the meds, so here we are.

I took a full pill of Abilify (was previously only taking half a pill) and it too f*cked me up.

I felt like passing out, shitting myself, throwing up… in fact I did throw up, I actually projectile vomited all over my bathroom in this really gross purple colour because I thought it was a good idea to drink a fruit smoothie before bed.

The point of this little blog post is to say:

  1. I’m still alive.
  2. I’m going to take 1/2 a pill and live a semi-normal existence.
  3. It’s okay if it doesn’t work the first time, getting help is a long process.

 

Tho the road may be shitty – the destination will be beautiful. — probably Shakespear or someone important like that.

 

Remember you are loved, you are worthy and you are blessed.

Carlee xx

 

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Published by

CarleeLynn

Carlee writes about self-care and mental illness. Diagnosed with autism and bipolar disorder she is learning to manage it. She lives with her French bulldog Alice, and shares authentically about her life. She is currently working on her first novel, a fantasy-thriller. Her mantra is: You are Loved. You are Worthy. You are Blessed.

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