CELBEBRITIES POOP…AND OTHER WEIRD THINGS THAT MAKE US ALL EQUAL

YEARS ago (or so it seems) me and my bestie (miss you!) came to the sudden realization that celebrities like Brittany Spears and Meg Ryan poop, just like us.

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It was the most hillarious thing to imagine Brittany Spears pooping in a luxurious bathroom, but it was also the first time we started thinking that celebrities were just normal people.

If you’re still with me after that image, this blog post is actually about something a little more meaningful.

For those of you who didn’t make it this far (and aren’t even reading this) you’re welcome, Brittany on the poreclain will stay with you forever.

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This post is about the fact that we all have strengths and weaknesses. So many of us are held down by what other people think. Whether it’s our parents, friends, neighbours, co-workers, for some reason what these people think affects most of our lives in a pretty serious way.

I know that for literally the first…26.5 years of my life (working on it!) I cared about what people thought of me and it held me back from so many things. Dancing to music in a beautiful open field concert was one of them, losing a huge sale because I was scared to ask was another.

Remembering the fact that celebrities poop reminded me that we are all human beings. We all have stuff we are good at and stuff that we completely suck at.

The best part is…everyone sucks at something, so don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for what you aren’t good at.

Smile at the haters and do YOU boo.

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Everyone has suffered middle-school embarrasement, had an awkward first kiss, botched an interview or tried something and failed. There isn’t one person I know that doesn’t have a shameful story from their past that they’d rather not talk about.

Trust me… the first two decades of my life should just be written off.

YES I stuffed my bra in elementary school only to be discovered in the change room… I wanted boobs okay, is that too much to ask?!

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YES I got too drunk to make it to prom and ended up sleeping in the limo.

YES I have burnt water while trying to cook………….

YES I have a huge darth vader tattoo on my back… … ……

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Were all equal…equally bad at something and equally awesome at something else.

We’ve only got one life to live, unless you believe in reincarnation… do you? I’d love to dive into your world.

Let’s make the most of it. Whenever your down and out or worried about keeping up with whoever the neighbourhood Kardashians are, remember they all poop… we all poop..

No one’s any better or any worse than the next.

I’ll see on instagram or  snapchat,

Carlee. xoxo

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LET’S RECOGNIZE ARIANA GRANDE’S STRONG SELF-CARE DURING MAC MILLERS PASSING (Hate me if you want it needs to be said)

With the passing of Mac Miller two days ago, September 7th, Ariana Grande shared a simple but heart felt image of Mac, who had a song titled “Self Care”.

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In this post I’m not going to get into drug use or addiction, as many of you know I have had my own struggles overcoming alcoholism.

What I am going to talk about is the amount of self care Ariana Grande practiced in the last two years and why it’s so damn important.

First I’d like to go on record and say yes I think Mac Miller’s death is tragic, he will be missed and so will his talent. It’s never okay when someone dies, it always hurts and in cases like Mac’s you wonder what might have been.

But, there has been so much backlash towards Ariana about his passing that I’d like to touch on a few key points. Hate me if you want but someone needs to say it.

ONE: 

If anyone chooses to leave a toxic relationship that is their RIGHT to do so. We cannot be held accountable for someone elses actions, no matter how tragic, when our own actions are to keep us safe, healthy and happy.

Since when is it okay to force a woman to stay in a toxic relationship?

Is this what we are accepting now? …

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TWO: 

Making the decision to leave a toxic relationship IS a form of self care and it MATTERS. Staying in a toxic relationship will only ruin two people at the same time. There are no advantages to staying.

It is not Ariana’s fault that Mac Miller got charged with a DUI, had a substance abuse problem for years and has now passed away.

What was going on before they got together, during and after they seperated in terms of Mac’s substance abuse was not Ariana’s fault.

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Addiction is a bitch.

It will take your family, friends, house, relationship and eventually your life.

To blame anyone is to completely miss the point.

 

THREE: 

Let’s think about the fact that all breakups are hard. Walking away from someone who isn’t good for you, even if you love the crap out of them, is completely heartbreaking.

It takes a strong person to say … “I love you, but I love me more.”

We should recognize the human side of ourselves that can relate to this because I’m sure every one of us has either had our hearts broken, had to set boundaries or had to walk away from someone who wasn’t right for us no matter how hard we tried.

Staying in a relationship where you aren’t happy, safe or respected in the hopes of saving the other person means completely ignoring what you need.

Standing up and doing what is right for you is always YOUR first priority. There are women in shitty relationships right now who need to hear that it is okay to leave. They need to hear that whatever their partner chooses to do after they leave is not their fault.

They need to hear that they are WORTH it.

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Like I’ve said in previous posts the truth about self -care is that it’s messy, challenging, and you’re sometimes not sure if your doing it right.

When you walk away from anyone toxic you have doubts, insecurities and fears. Imagine what it would feel like to practice self-care and then have something like this happen. It would be devastating. Right now Ariana needs to practice self-care even more so.

I’m not blaming her and honestly I don’t think anyone else should be either.

I’m not bashing Mac, like I said I loved his music.

What I’m saying is self-care looks different for everybody but when I recognize someone making tough decisions for themselves and then the world responding in such a shitty way….I’m going to say something.

If you’ve ever left a relationship for whatever reason then you must have a little empathy.

To all of us strong, capable women out there,

I see you and I’m with you.

Carlee xoxo 

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WHAT STARTED IT ALL. AN OPEN TALK ABOUT ALCOHOLISM, RELATIONSHIPS & SELF-CARE.

Hey there beautiful! I am so so SO excited to have you here.

This is a space and community across all platforms – blog, podcast, youtube channel – where we can have open, honest and vulnerable talks about all things self-care.

Here I am to bring you the latest news, interviews, products and perspectives about living a fully self-nurtured life.

This has been what feels like a super long journey for me, even though though I’m only 26. In the spirit of being open, honest and vulnerable this first blog post will share with you the truth behind why I truly love self-care and how it all began.

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I was to put it bluntly… a people pleaser. My entire life from the age of 10 was about how to protect and help the people around me. During highschool the relationships I had were all about how to make my boyfriend happy, there was literally NO thought in my mind about what I wanted or how I was supposed to feel. People pleasing and my desire to “fit in” lead me to start drinking every weekend.

After graduation everyone else went off to college and university but I continued to drink until I had completely ruined my life. I had moved out of my home, treated the people who loved me like sh*t and consumed alcohol from morning until night…or whenever I passed out.

At the age of 18 I entered my first long-term treatment program with the help of my mother (a loving, caretaker type social worker) who convinced me I needed to go. There I had my first glimpse of self-care techniques. Girls all supporting each other in group and applauding when one of us acted with self-love by breaking up with a toxic boyfriend, chose to eat fruit instead of sugar or came clean about our negative thinking. I didn’t know life could be like that.

I left treatment just after my 19th birthday but once again fell into the idea of being “popular, fun and liked”. This lead me to start partying again with my old friends. The feeling of treatment stuck with me though and I started attending AA meetings.

Finally after years of relapse I had enough and decided to enter a short-term treatment program, only this time it was my own choice. At 6 months sober I went to a 28 day program where I learned about vulnerability and unconditional love. Two concepts I had always thought were… well, weaknesses. Turns out they are actually two of the biggest strengths and superpowers we have in our lives.

Today I am 3 years sober BUT the last three years have brought a shit ton of lessons. I’ve had to come to terms with anxiety, depression, mental illness, co-dependency, people pleasing and sugar cravings to name a few.

Thanks to a great councelor, supportive friends and partner I have made it through and can happily say I’m in school for social work. I’ve got a loving partner and two animal companions, Quincy Jones & Alice, and a great job as creator of The Self-Care Enthusiast!  (Which started with Gary Vaynerchuk & the VaynerMedia team gifting me with a copy of Crushing It!…read that story here)

 

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Throughout my journey self-care is my foundation and one of the single most essential things to my own personal happiness.

YES it is challenging and hard and I have a love-hate relationship with self-care. I had to come to terms with the fact that I didn’t feel worthy of self-care to begin with. It starts off slow and you want to give up…but trust me, the benefits are coming.

SO, that right there is why I created The Self-Care Enthusiast, to document my past and present self-care practice, interview professionals and create a safe community where we could come together on this journey.

 

Welcome! It’s an honor to be here with you. I’ll leave you with one of my most favorite  quotes.

See you in the community or on snapchat,

Carlee. xoxo

 

I know where I’m going and I know the truth. I don’t have to be what you want me to be, I’m free to be what I want.  

Muhammad Ali

SELF-CARE JOURNALING & WHY YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY TRY IT.

Journaling has always been something I avoided, it always represented a blank page waiting for me to spill all my dirty little secrets onto it, filling in all the lines with all of the embarrasing things I’d done.

In truth my self-care journal does have a lot of the embarrasing, shameful and down right terrible things I’ve done but while writing about them I always seem to find a beautiful lesson hidden under all those gross feelings, a lesson I had missed along the way.

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I started journaling after reading the Artist’s way by Julia Cameron, a 12 week journey to higher creativity. She suggested writing 3 pages a day of pure nonsense…anything that came up in your mind. She called them the morning pages.

I didn’t expect much but I gave it a shot.

The first morning it took me an hour to write 3 pages. The second day it took me 45 minutes and the third day it only took me half an hour. I felt lighter, happier, more focused. It was amazing what a half an hour of writing about pure nothing could do. I started by writing mundane things like what I had to do that day, what groceries I was going to buy, what book I was reading.

Then it moved into deeper waters. Soon enough I was writing about what I wanted to do with my life, where I could infuse creativity, the people who had hurt me & the people I myself had hurt. I wrote about family, friends, relationships, work, therapy, addiction, fashion, judgement, jealousy….

My fear of the pages slowly vanished and I was left with a version of myself that I had never met before. Perhaps I had known her once in childhood but to find her again in adulthood was an unexpected blessing. 

Each morning I sit with myself when it is quiet and still, drinking my cofee with almond milk and I journal. I always talk about what happened at work or what hillarious thing Cody (my partner) said and then I’ll write about how I’m feeling…the truth of the matter. Some days I’m great, some days I’m a mess. I’ve come to realize that’s life.

(To prove my point here’s an unflattering, unfiltered, unedited picture of myself in the morning…just for you & yes the bottoms match)

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Writing about where I’m at honestly and then documenting what I’ve done to take care of myself in the last 24 hours has become a ritual. 

It’s a sounding board just for you. It allows you to explore what you like or disklike. It is a safe space for some tough self-love.

Have you ever seen those detox foot baths where the water turns a dark muddy brown by drawing out all of your toxins? Journaling is like that…but for your soul.  

Take the plunge and start journaling about your day, the fight you had with your spouse, the pasta you had for dinner, the moment you found for yourself and how you are honestly feeling in the moment.

There are a few different ways to journal about self-care, the morning pages are a great place to start or you can try bullet journaling (see above). It’s super simple, you just write down your triumphs, fears, memorable moments in bullet points, even incorporating some art if you want to. Get creative with it!

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If you haven’t yet subscribed to the blog now is a great time because you’ll have your own guided self-care journal sent right into your inbox…no excuses!

Carlee xoxo.