Gossip Is Not A Form Of Connection

I just read Lauren Evarts Instagram post about emotional intelligence and the last indicator of EQ was that those who have emotional intelligence do not view gossip as a way of connecting.  

THAT has to be one of the best things I’ve ever read. I’m going to be straight up honest with you, for a long time that’s exactly how I connected with people, especially other women. Gossip was just an accepted form of communication amongst high school girls and even later in office settings.

Wherever I have worked it hasn’t mattered the age or gender of the person there has always been gossip.

The truth about gossip though is that it never comes from someone who is on their A game. When you are the one giving out the gossip you immediately put yourself at a disadvantage. You are showing weakness and plain bad character.

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Why is gossip so bad? 

Aside from ruining someones reputation or day, you will NEVER be able to build a relationship of trust from gossip. Immediately it puts you in a place of distrust and any relationship built with it will have no solid foundation.

Your leverage is gone, you have no credibility and you are choosing to communicate with literally the lowest form of communication there is. Why would anyone want that?

We all saw the movie Mean Girls and it was called Mean Girls for a reason. The movie might have been okay to watch but in real life everyone just thinks you’re a bitch.

Positive, successful people all share traits of kindness, empathy, and optimism. Truly successful people help each other to succeed and give positive feedback. It is necessary to be truthful and straightforward and sometimes that’s going to mean saying something abrupt, but it will never be deliberately gossiping or spreading falsehoods about someone else to get ahead.

To close this short, but important piece I will say anyone who is striving for more in life will do themselves a huge favour by focusing on engaging – thought provoking – inspiring conversations and cutting the gossip out completely.  When you go to sleep at night at least this way you will feel good about who you are as a human being and so will many others.

Carlee Lloyd

*Connect with me on LinkedIn, seriously it’s awesome over there.

The Ozzy Osbourne Content Creation Method

Ozzy is a rock legend, his vocal talent was clearly bestowed upon him by the rock god’s themselves. He is so insanely talented that it would be hard to picture him doing anything else, I mean could you see him sitting behind the desk at a dental office answering phones? No-one would be able to understand him at all!

It is amazing to me that people like Ozzy are such obvious examples of the fact that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and the people who use their strengths ultimately find their innate gifts and change the world. Ozzy isn’t a talk show host for a reason… whenever I’ve watched him do an interview I could barely make out every other word. [maybe it’s just me but somehow I doubt it]

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So many people are stuck because they’re trying to be a receptionist or a day-time television host instead of the amazing lead vocalist they were truly meant to be.

Content creation is a beautiful thing for many reasons, but my most favour is that it allows people to be truly creative and express themselves. A side bonus to all of the creativity is that it generates awareness and revenue for personal brands and companies when used correctly.

By now you probably understand the method, find your talent as a creative and shine as bring as you can using that method. If you are a writer then you should be writing long stories here on LinkedIn that matter to people, grab readers attention and make them feel something, really take them on a journey and use all 1300 characters. If you’re good in front of the camera, as a videographer, podcaster, graphic artist, or have a gift for interviewing people use it. Whatever it is, do that and find a way to collaborate with people who have talent in the areas you lack.

The cool thing is that just like creatives have different talents, people consume content differently. I absolutely love reading books, but my friend swears by the fact that she’s only read one book in her entire life and chooses to consume content in video form. Whatever your talent is, video – written word – audio – interviewing – art, there are people primed to consume it in that way. It’s like we were all made to fit together and support one another.

So how do you really know which creation method suits you?

The only real answer is to get out there and try different forms of content creation and see which one works for you. Chances are you may already know you have serious skills as a videographer or writer and you may want to use that method of creation first before branching out into others to really build a solid foundation.

Ask for honest feedback and you will receive it. LinkedIn is an amazing platform where so many people would be happy to give you a real answer, in a really nice way. Truly listen to the feedback you receive, both positive and constructive. This one tip alone will put you years ahead of the game if you actually listen and then execute. Once you start putting your work out there you will be able to see consumer reactions quite quickly and gauge what your next step should be.

Don’t be discouraged if the form you thought you’d be great at doesn’t work, you have so many options for creative content production and it takes patience to learn, improve your skills, test audience reactions and ultimately grow an audience. If you truly feel absolutely deep in your soul, down to the very heart of you passionate about a certain creation method like videography or podcasting, take the time to get serious and learn that skill to the best of your ability. Once your audience starts to grow, nurture it by connecting with each one of them one on one. This takes some time but nothing beats real genuine connections that ultimately turn into friendships.

This steps also takes some serious insight into who you actually are as a person and who you want to be. Is your voice similar to Ozzy’s, you mumble when you talk but you can sing a wicked tune? Chances are you were made to sing. Same goes for each one of the methods… during this journey you may even find to your benefit, that you have talent in a few areas.

How Do You Find People To Collaborate With?

Asking for help or advice is really positive and humble place to start. You will be connecting with people that are skilled and talented in different areas than you, who will know more than you and when you come from a place of humility they will teach you, trust me. LinkedIn is full of creative people looking to collaborate and help each other succeed. It takes a bit of creativity in the inbox, sharing a personal story about yourself and truly helping them to see your vision. It is a marketplace of creativity and you my friend have taken the first step by making an account.

Ask and you shall receive. This the no bulls*t way to how I have landed some really amazing interviews and received advice from people much, much….much more successful than I am.

Seriously take a look at yourself through the Ozzy lens, are you a receptionist or a rock-star? Either one is fine but it’s about staying true to yourself, knowing where your strengths are and collaborating to reach the next level. Ozzy after all was in a band called Black Sabbath, he needed people to play the other instruments and create some epic music.

Let me know your thoughts. I cover tips to becoming more creative, forward thinking and generating new revenue on my show Revenue Monkey #revenuemonkey. See you tomorrow for Self-Care for Your Business Monday.

Carlee. – The Self-Care Enthusiast & Host of Revenue Monkey.

http://www.theselfcareenthusiast.com

HOW GARY VAYNERCHUK IS CHANGING LIVES (and totally changed mine)

I woke up Tuesday morning to an email from Gary Vaynerchuk. It was short, sweet and just what I needed. I had poured my heart out the night before at midnight during a moment of vulnerability and the ephiphany that I’m a fighter. (I’m guessing you are too.)

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This post actually starts a year ago when I had started consuming Gary’s content every single morning and every single evening before bed. I hadn’t yet acted on it, and to be honest, taking action in the form of a brand & blog is still fresh, but I knew I was fueling up.

A few months ago I started using LinkedIn, I didn’t really think I needed it because at the time I was a housekeeper at a retirement home, but as soon as I started connecting with people I realized it’s power. I added Steve Babcock, the creative director of VaynerMedia and a few weeks later he posted that VaynerMedia was hiring.

I sent Steve and the rest of the Vayner team a really honest email about my past alcoholism, the power of doing ANYTHING to achieve your idea of success… and the fact that I had completely fucked up college.

To my surprise I got an email back and a phone call from a recruiter. Even though I didn’t end up getting the job, living in Canada it’s tough for entry-level positions, we had a great talk about life, writing and the lessons tough shit will teach you.

I felt inspired, grateful, and my self-confidence was definitely boosted.

A week later I was gifted a signed copy of Gary’s book Crushing It.  (eeeeek!!! fan girl alert, it was so awesome!)

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Half-way through the book I realized I was definitely spending my time in dumbass ways like binge watching netflix for HOURS….(suits man, the lead lawyer Harvey is like, so hot), scrolling mindlessly through facebook and eating out of boredom.

I saw the roadmap for change and truly believed that if others could do it than so could I. (YES, I recommend reading the book)

That night I walked my ass four blocks to the nearest convenience store, bought a prepaid Visa card and started creating The Self-Care Enthusiast.

It’s a feeling I hadn’t had before, a true knowing that I will succeed or fail by my own doing. My future is in my own hands. Gary & his team are kind, considerate, passionate, smart, decisive and don’t bullshit you. Not only does his content make you believe you can do it, if you listen the right way, it makes you act on those beliefs to create something powerful.

You can learn something from every member of VaynerMedia. Steve even has this radical food diary on Instagram that I honestly thought was the coolest idea. It’s so simple but for some reason I want to look through everything he eats in a day….is that too weird?

This week I’ve got a 15 minute skype call with Claude Silver, Chief Heart Officer of VaynerMedia. A few months ago I wouldn’t have imagined she would give me 30 seconds…let alone 15 minutes. Life will totally surprise you.

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In addiction things got so bad that I finally said “that’s it I’ll do whatever it takes”. Hitting rock bottom forces you to level up or die. Rock bottom doesn’t have to mean addiction, it could be cleaning toilets for 8 hours a day, or going to your shitty factory job hating every minute of it. When you finally are willing to put in the work and do whatever it takes to make shit happen….the universe works with you.

I’m not saying by watching Gary Vaynerchuk your life will drastically change, all I’m saying is that for me…my perspective changed, I became focused and the joy of starting something surpasses all of the fear.

If you’re thinking about making a change, creating something, exploring something new…. do it. You are worth it.
…That what you wish for, wishes for you. And the entire universe wishes it too.

I’d love to connect with you and have a talk about all things self-care, passion, business and life!

I’m always here, in the community or on snapchat.

Carlee xoxo

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