You Gotta Teach Em’ How To Love You

My entire life I have witnessed women not exercising their own self-worth in relationships and being treated poorly. I myself am one of those women, I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t become one…but as the saying goes “history always repeats itself” and sometimes you become the thing you’re trying so desperately hard to run away from.

It can happen in any relationship – straight – gay – whatever. This isn’t a cheap shot at men, this is a post about what I’ve learned nearing three decades.

You don’t have to scream your insecurities from your mouth and tell the world with words that you don’t feel worthy of love. The world can see it in the way you look down at your shoes or shy away from any intimate conversation. They way you apologize literally 100 times a day and put everyone first before yourself – risking your own health to do so.

It took me my entire life up until now to even realize that the way you treat yourself is a direct indication to others about how to treat you.

It took me up until now to realize you have to teach people how to love you right.

You can’t teach them to be kind, or thoughtful or funny…that comes from themselves, that comes from God or the universe or whatever higher power you believe in. But you can teach them the way you want to be loved.

You have show them how to communicate by communicating in that exact way to them. You have to tell them…I like flowers and hugs and sunny Sunday’s with fresh coffee and a good book.

How could they possible know otherwise?

On the flip side you have to love them in the way they need to be loved. Listen and truly care. That’s the kicker…in order to love someone right you’ve got to care enough to actually do it.

Life is too magical and whimsical and precious to waste it with someone who doesn’t care enough to listen.

You gotta teach em’ how to love you right. And when your done teaching, if they don’t learn… well you’ve got some decisions to make.

 

Carlee.

 

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CELBEBRITIES POOP…AND OTHER WEIRD THINGS THAT MAKE US ALL EQUAL

YEARS ago (or so it seems) me and my bestie (miss you!) came to the sudden realization that celebrities like Brittany Spears and Meg Ryan poop, just like us.

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It was the most hillarious thing to imagine Brittany Spears pooping in a luxurious bathroom, but it was also the first time we started thinking that celebrities were just normal people.

If you’re still with me after that image, this blog post is actually about something a little more meaningful.

For those of you who didn’t make it this far (and aren’t even reading this) you’re welcome, Brittany on the poreclain will stay with you forever.

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This post is about the fact that we all have strengths and weaknesses. So many of us are held down by what other people think. Whether it’s our parents, friends, neighbours, co-workers, for some reason what these people think affects most of our lives in a pretty serious way.

I know that for literally the first…26.5 years of my life (working on it!) I cared about what people thought of me and it held me back from so many things. Dancing to music in a beautiful open field concert was one of them, losing a huge sale because I was scared to ask was another.

Remembering the fact that celebrities poop reminded me that we are all human beings. We all have stuff we are good at and stuff that we completely suck at.

The best part is…everyone sucks at something, so don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for what you aren’t good at.

Smile at the haters and do YOU boo.

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Everyone has suffered middle-school embarrasement, had an awkward first kiss, botched an interview or tried something and failed. There isn’t one person I know that doesn’t have a shameful story from their past that they’d rather not talk about.

Trust me… the first two decades of my life should just be written off.

YES I stuffed my bra in elementary school only to be discovered in the change room… I wanted boobs okay, is that too much to ask?!

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YES I got too drunk to make it to prom and ended up sleeping in the limo.

YES I have burnt water while trying to cook………….

YES I have a huge darth vader tattoo on my back… … ……

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Were all equal…equally bad at something and equally awesome at something else.

We’ve only got one life to live, unless you believe in reincarnation… do you? I’d love to dive into your world.

Let’s make the most of it. Whenever your down and out or worried about keeping up with whoever the neighbourhood Kardashians are, remember they all poop… we all poop..

No one’s any better or any worse than the next.

I’ll see on instagram or  snapchat,

Carlee. xoxo

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MY TOP TIPS FOR DEALING WITH A BREAKUP

 

Can I just say…”ughhhh”.

Breakups suck even when you’re the one doing the breaking up…even more so when you’re not.

Girl if you loved him, like really loved him, this shit is going to hurt, there’s no getting around it.

For all the ways I’ve coped after a breakup (there have been some major disasters) I can share with you my top tips in hopes that something might spark within you and lessen the hurt.

Things have changed with all the hype over not eating icecream on the couch and crying your eyes out while watching He’s Just Not That Into You… choosing instead to workout, buy cute clothes and “ruin his life”. While that does sound kind of fun, in the worst way possible.

Depending on your age chances are you’ve already had your first breakup and have uttered the classic words “I can’t live without him”.

Then, 6 months later (maybe less, maybe more) you realize you most definitely can and as a matter of fact you are living without him.

In all of my relationships I’ve looked back and come to terms with the fact that I stayed much too long. In hindsight a breakup can even be a blessing.

When I’m about to break up with someone or have had my heart crushed (knock on wood baby) I look back at my previous breakups.

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Yes, they hurt like hell. 

Yes, I thought I was dying. 

Yes, I watched romantic comedies. 

Yes, I ate way too much chocolate. 

But, 

You know what else happened? 

I got through it. 

I realized what an asshat the guy actually was. 

I honestly couldn’t believe I chose to date him in the first place. 

I started doing more with friends, family, hobbies and business.

I became happier, more focused… and thinner. 

I remembered my value.  

 

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Specific top tips? 

Block his number…at least for the first 72 hours. (come on, WE all know how hard this is)

Drink lots of water. (beautiful hydrated skin is a must, especially now)

Buy the cute clothes & look damn fine. (I know I said revenge was the worst, but it feel soo good)

Tell yourself “I love you”

Get out with family & friends

Start a new project

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Allow yourself to cry, wipe your tears, remember you’re a badass and that good things are coming your way.

Oh.. and shoot me a message (or comment below) on Instagram or Snapchat and we will talk you through this together girl!

How do you get through heartbreak?

Carlee. xoxo