How To Get Sh*t Done With Depression – Procrastination and Waves of Self-Doubt

Honestly, I’ve been sitting at the computer for half an hour wondering what the title for this piece should be. I finally figured I’d just write it out, you could read it, and hopefully the title that I finally chose would be appropriate.

What I REALLY want to talk about is a mixture of things…but mostly how to still get shit done when you’re dealing with depression – procrastination  and self-doubt.

0-10.jpeg

A vortex of compromising traits that make it highly probable that the next 24 hours will be wasted. The past 30 days have been proof, if to no-one else but myself, of the fact that you can still accomplish a hell of a lot and feel good most of the time.

So, let’s say you lay in bed until 11am… most entrepreneur “gurus” online would say that is HORRIBLE  and you’re  never going to accomplish your goals by laying in bed on a Saturday morning. Maybe that’s true, but maybe you also get these strange waves of self-doubt and it takes you a while to kick your own ass into gear. Maybe though, you can make up for it in the remaining hours of the day by connecting with people or working on your projects or simply taking a day to yourself because we all need to recharge.

And maybe your body just honestly needed the rest, and your mind will thank you for it.

How then can you be successful with depression – procrastination – and waves of self-doubt?

Personally, I’m on this journey myself. It takes some trial and error and lots of forgiveness but it is possible to succeed. It takes huge amounts of self-care and self-awareness. You need to be able to recognize when you’re actually tired or if it is your unwelcome friend depression coming to say hello.

Procrastination is the real kicker, especially when you run a business that other people depend on. I used to tell myself and sometimes still find myself saying “I work best under pressure”. This may feel true…but I’m not fully convinced. What truly saved me was Mel Robbins 5 second rule.  You basically trick your brain into action and stop the thinking process. You count down 5-4-3-2-1 and then without thinking immediately just get up and do what you are supposed to be doing. It works, it really does, even if I have to take 15 seconds and count down 3 times before I get up… it works.

dbc1e629548ac5592c9d78453a48ccbe.jpg

Now for self-doubt. This guy likes to come around whenever I don’t get a sale the first time around or share a post on social media that doesn’t get as much feedback as I had hoped for. The trick of the whole thing is not to care about what other people think and to just produce content and move from one sale to the next, but when you are alone your mind can sometimes play tricks on you… and try to tell you that you’re worse at your job than you really are. Self-doubt has never been effectively managed for me by anything else other than three things: yoga – good people – and inspiration.

^^ It can look more like: self -care, relationships – mindfulness.

You will find as you go along your journey, your life will fill up with different – wonderful things and when times like this arise, when things get a little bit hard and these three try to creep back in… you will have created a safety net within yourself. You will have learned that you are better, worthy, beautiful, intelligent and able to conquer the gnawing thought of wasting the day.

It takes practice, as does anything in life.

And my dear, I’m here to tell you, I’ve been practicing for quite some time. You’re not alone.

 

Love always,

Carlee

181b7a3aa4716ef38e229a355d908ff7.jpg

 

How To Remain A Badass Even When You’re Having A Bad Day.

We all have bad days, they happen because we are human and sometimes life likes to mess with us a little bit; make sure we know we’re still living. The day goes something like this: the alarm doesn’t go off, you call the office to tell them you’ll be 15 minutes late, you get in your car but you remember you chose not to put gas in it last night…sacrificing that time to watch another episode of Shameless on Netflix, now you’re another 20 minutes late, by the time you get to work Stacey has taken credit for the idea you told her about yesterday, and to top it all of you forgot to brush your hair.

Wait, did I mention coffee? Yeah…you didn’t have time to grab a coffee either.

k2xyo.jpg

Now tell me you haven’t had a day like this at least once. It’s so easy in that moment to say f*ck it and write the rest of the day off as a complete disaster, I’m definitely guilty of doing it.

It’s taken me some time, but I’ve learned the difference between having a bad moment or morning, and making it last all day. (cheesy quote alert)

When you really think about it, can you even afford to have a bad day…for the whole day? It just takes up so much time and energy. It’s not really the fact that you might have children, or other people counting on you (although important), it’s the fact that you know you’re stronger than a few bad moments, and surrendering to them would mean letting yourself down.

You remain a badass when…

You can laugh it off and find the humour in an otherwise annoying situation. Why, because everyone would rather be stuck in an elevator with someone who’s calm and can crack a few jokes, instead of someone who’s loud, angry and aggressive. (Replace elevator with office, school, or any general activity in which you partake).

You choose to walk away and master your emotions. One of my biggest shortcomings is not walking away at the right time. If you’re having a bad day because someone keeps pushing your buttons, remember your awesomeness, and choose to walk away. All the fuss usually isn’t worth your time anyway.

You say “f*ck it” and continue on as usual. This strategy has worked well for me in the past. Sometimes there’s not much left you can do, and the minute you say those two magical words, the stress just melts away. The day can start a new!

You practice self-care like a damn pro. Obviously I’m big on this one. After a bad day, I like to remind myself that yes, I’m still a badass, and yes it’s a good idea to continue to take care of myself. Find what self-care looks like for you, a bubble bath, good music, yoga, doing some artwork, boxing; it’s individual to you and what makes you feel good.

You connect with your tribe. My tribe is literally a few good friends and my mom…mostly my mom. It’s the people that you can share anything with, and they always have your best interest at heart. Connect, laugh, cry, share your day and all of it’s bizarre mishaps, I promise you’ll feel better.

You learn from it. So maybe you set two alarms, get a coffee maker that instantly brews at 6am, stay away from telling Stacey anything in the future… whatever it is, you can learn from it and going forward, you will have levelled up your badassery.

You’ve managed to define the word “badass” for yourself and live up to it. Yup, whatever the word badass means to you. Maybe it’s hitting the gym everyday, not letting other’s control your emotions, continuing to hustle, standing up for what you believe in, knowing your worth when other people don’t, speaking up for yourself, having the courage to do what is right. Find what it means for you and live it.

 

Last,

You forgive yourself if you don’t do any one of these things, because having a bad day is okay, and believe it or not you’re still badass. Yeah, it’s not really a trick, it’s amazing if you can manage to succeed at doing all of the above, but if you don’t, take responsibility for your side and know that tomorrow will bring something new, and often better.

YOU are strong, capable, and courageous. Even when you forget to do that one thing… you know, the thing that’s been on your list for the last two weeks and it’s finally caught up to you? Yeah, even then, still a badass.

Keep it up,

Carlee. xx

 

 

IF YOU AREN’T CONNECTING, YOU AREN’T BRANDING

Business as far as I can tell is exactly like life.

Once you have everything you’ve wished for whether its money, or cars or a successful small business, what matters comes into focus.

Connection.

Connection is what will build your business, brand, sell your products or build your community and lack of connection is most assuredly what will stop whatever you’re doing from growing.

The only true way to build connection is to actually give a shit.

41502620_677480829302040_88911135901745152_n

Whether you connect in person or on social, you’ve got to interact and start conversations with the people who take notice.

Giving a shit means that you’ll find creative ways to connect, you’ll ask better questions and when you provide value to others you’ll do so on a much deeper level.

You’ll basically set yourself up to be a leader in whatever you choose to do IF you’re passionate about it enough to put in the time and effort it takes to connect.

It isn’t easy, it takes a lot of work and a ton of time, but if you’re willing to go the extra mile day in and day out to build a strong foundation of people willing to support you than you’ve won.

You’ve won because that’s realy all that life comes down too, the relationships you build along the journey and how many people you’ve helped along the way.

We all know this, yet we still fail to act on our knowledge.

41509690_677480852635371_1932882939880669184_n

In my opinion, people fail to act because they don’t see the quick results. Building relationships in business is exactly like growing in a long-term romantic relationship. Sure at first you really like each other and you laugh at each others crappy jokes but as the years go on you actually begin to love each other, know each other on a different level and if it’s really good, you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Branding is the same thing. It takes patience, effort, time and even forgiveness at times. If you can understand the similarities and your in a position of geniunely caring about what you do, you will succeed against all odds.

A brand isn’t built from a logo or pictures with the same aesthetic.

A brand is engaging with your audience on a whole other level.

If your good your competition will take months or years to catch up.

If your extra good you won’t even give a shit about your competition because you’ll be so focused on building those connections.

41503644_677480902635366_4270814070669574144_n

So how do you connect?

Like, share, comment, direct message. Start the conversation and keep it about the other person. Good things take time.

And you never want to be the friend who only takes to someone when they want something…

Are you building a brand? What tips on connecting with your audience do you have?! Would love to get sharing.

 

Carlee xoxo

41581880_677480845968705_7336744215419813888_n

HOW GARY VAYNERCHUK IS CHANGING LIVES (and totally changed mine)

I woke up Tuesday morning to an email from Gary Vaynerchuk. It was short, sweet and just what I needed. I had poured my heart out the night before at midnight during a moment of vulnerability and the ephiphany that I’m a fighter. (I’m guessing you are too.)

41195628_675064412877015_3205219254169239552_n

This post actually starts a year ago when I had started consuming Gary’s content every single morning and every single evening before bed. I hadn’t yet acted on it, and to be honest, taking action in the form of a brand & blog is still fresh, but I knew I was fueling up.

A few months ago I started using LinkedIn, I didn’t really think I needed it because at the time I was a housekeeper at a retirement home, but as soon as I started connecting with people I realized it’s power. I added Steve Babcock, the creative director of VaynerMedia and a few weeks later he posted that VaynerMedia was hiring.

I sent Steve and the rest of the Vayner team a really honest email about my past alcoholism, the power of doing ANYTHING to achieve your idea of success… and the fact that I had completely fucked up college.

To my surprise I got an email back and a phone call from a recruiter. Even though I didn’t end up getting the job, living in Canada it’s tough for entry-level positions, we had a great talk about life, writing and the lessons tough shit will teach you.

I felt inspired, grateful, and my self-confidence was definitely boosted.

A week later I was gifted a signed copy of Gary’s book Crushing It.  (eeeeek!!! fan girl alert, it was so awesome!)

41174833_675064419543681_710937088874250240_n

Half-way through the book I realized I was definitely spending my time in dumbass ways like binge watching netflix for HOURS….(suits man, the lead lawyer Harvey is like, so hot), scrolling mindlessly through facebook and eating out of boredom.

I saw the roadmap for change and truly believed that if others could do it than so could I. (YES, I recommend reading the book)

That night I walked my ass four blocks to the nearest convenience store, bought a prepaid Visa card and started creating The Self-Care Enthusiast.

It’s a feeling I hadn’t had before, a true knowing that I will succeed or fail by my own doing. My future is in my own hands. Gary & his team are kind, considerate, passionate, smart, decisive and don’t bullshit you. Not only does his content make you believe you can do it, if you listen the right way, it makes you act on those beliefs to create something powerful.

You can learn something from every member of VaynerMedia. Steve even has this radical food diary on Instagram that I honestly thought was the coolest idea. It’s so simple but for some reason I want to look through everything he eats in a day….is that too weird?

This week I’ve got a 15 minute skype call with Claude Silver, Chief Heart Officer of VaynerMedia. A few months ago I wouldn’t have imagined she would give me 30 seconds…let alone 15 minutes. Life will totally surprise you.

41097906_675064446210345_8904575014112591872_n

In addiction things got so bad that I finally said “that’s it I’ll do whatever it takes”. Hitting rock bottom forces you to level up or die. Rock bottom doesn’t have to mean addiction, it could be cleaning toilets for 8 hours a day, or going to your shitty factory job hating every minute of it. When you finally are willing to put in the work and do whatever it takes to make shit happen….the universe works with you.

I’m not saying by watching Gary Vaynerchuk your life will drastically change, all I’m saying is that for me…my perspective changed, I became focused and the joy of starting something surpasses all of the fear.

If you’re thinking about making a change, creating something, exploring something new…. do it. You are worth it.
…That what you wish for, wishes for you. And the entire universe wishes it too.

I’d love to connect with you and have a talk about all things self-care, passion, business and life!

I’m always here, in the community or on snapchat.

Carlee xoxo

41069118_674545829595540_7333771887597584384_n.jpg

 

 

WHAT STARTED IT ALL. AN OPEN TALK ABOUT ALCOHOLISM, RELATIONSHIPS & SELF-CARE.

Hey there beautiful! I am so so SO excited to have you here.

This is a space and community across all platforms – blog, podcast, youtube channel – where we can have open, honest and vulnerable talks about all things self-care.

Here I am to bring you the latest news, interviews, products and perspectives about living a fully self-nurtured life.

This has been what feels like a super long journey for me, even though though I’m only 26. In the spirit of being open, honest and vulnerable this first blog post will share with you the truth behind why I truly love self-care and how it all began.

41205262_675572169492906_5520129420381126656_n

I was to put it bluntly… a people pleaser. My entire life from the age of 10 was about how to protect and help the people around me. During highschool the relationships I had were all about how to make my boyfriend happy, there was literally NO thought in my mind about what I wanted or how I was supposed to feel. People pleasing and my desire to “fit in” lead me to start drinking every weekend.

After graduation everyone else went off to college and university but I continued to drink until I had completely ruined my life. I had moved out of my home, treated the people who loved me like sh*t and consumed alcohol from morning until night…or whenever I passed out.

At the age of 18 I entered my first long-term treatment program with the help of my mother (a loving, caretaker type social worker) who convinced me I needed to go. There I had my first glimpse of self-care techniques. Girls all supporting each other in group and applauding when one of us acted with self-love by breaking up with a toxic boyfriend, chose to eat fruit instead of sugar or came clean about our negative thinking. I didn’t know life could be like that.

I left treatment just after my 19th birthday but once again fell into the idea of being “popular, fun and liked”. This lead me to start partying again with my old friends. The feeling of treatment stuck with me though and I started attending AA meetings.

Finally after years of relapse I had enough and decided to enter a short-term treatment program, only this time it was my own choice. At 6 months sober I went to a 28 day program where I learned about vulnerability and unconditional love. Two concepts I had always thought were… well, weaknesses. Turns out they are actually two of the biggest strengths and superpowers we have in our lives.

Today I am 3 years sober BUT the last three years have brought a shit ton of lessons. I’ve had to come to terms with anxiety, depression, mental illness, co-dependency, people pleasing and sugar cravings to name a few.

Thanks to a great councelor, supportive friends and partner I have made it through and can happily say I’m in school for social work. I’ve got a loving partner and two animal companions, Quincy Jones & Alice, and a great job as creator of The Self-Care Enthusiast!  (Which started with Gary Vaynerchuk & the VaynerMedia team gifting me with a copy of Crushing It!…read that story here)

 

41344604_675571232826333_3621138862002143232_n

Throughout my journey self-care is my foundation and one of the single most essential things to my own personal happiness.

YES it is challenging and hard and I have a love-hate relationship with self-care. I had to come to terms with the fact that I didn’t feel worthy of self-care to begin with. It starts off slow and you want to give up…but trust me, the benefits are coming.

SO, that right there is why I created The Self-Care Enthusiast, to document my past and present self-care practice, interview professionals and create a safe community where we could come together on this journey.

 

Welcome! It’s an honor to be here with you. I’ll leave you with one of my most favorite  quotes.

See you in the community or on snapchat,

Carlee. xoxo

 

I know where I’m going and I know the truth. I don’t have to be what you want me to be, I’m free to be what I want.  

Muhammad Ali